Life Just Happens Sometimes

Posted on February 1, 2011 by Corey Stewart

With Christmas, New Year and now the month of January gone for another year I thought it was time for me to read through my earlier posts to gain some inspiration.

As I was going through my earlier blog posts I stumbled upon something called Life – We’re Making It Up As We Go Along and from it I glimpsed an undeniable truth that which no-one can escape from.

And that truth is…

Sometimes life just happens and there’s nothing you can do about it.

No matter how much I try and control the outcomes of my life there is always a small percentage of it that wants to be random, chaotic and spontaneous. The funny thing is that the more I try to fight and control this random, chaotic and spontaneous nature of my life, the more persistant it becomes.

It has made me realise that it’s this random, chaotic and spontaneous nature that truly shapes how my life unfolds rather than the rest of my life that I (think I) control.

I’m sure this is what John Lennon meant when he wrote “life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans”

Ah… I understand now (major lightbulb moment).

Peace,

Corey

Alan Watts – Life And Music

Posted on December 17, 2010 by Corey Stewart

According to Zen Buddhist and interpreter of Chinese and Indian philosophies to the West, Alan Watts (1915-1973), the correlation between life and music is a closely knit and intertwining one.

Through his lectures and his vast audio archive, he was known for his ability to unravel the complexities of life for the layperson through his eloquence and humour.

A series of videos (created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone of South Park fame) were made from some of Alan’s audio recordings. The one I have included below is the one that has resonated with me the most.

It’s simply called Life and Music. Enjoy

Peace,

Corey

Music and Life – Alan Watts – What controls us as Human Beings? (becomeabetteruin365days.wordpress.com)

What I’ve Learnt From Being Sick

Posted on October 14, 2010 by Corey Stewart

I’ve been keeping a low profile since last Sunday because I’ve been cooped up in bed getting over a nasty chest infection which has really knocked me about.

Again! I’m feeling like getting sick is becoming a regular event in my life

Normally, when something like this happens I feel guilty about not being able to do anything and from there start beating up on myself about how lazy I am but this time was different.

I gave myself the time to heal and I was surprised that the more I recovered, the more I liked being in a position of not having to do anything.

And you know what?

My world didn’t fall apart…

I’d forgotten how good it felt to just stop and reflect on, rather than react to, what life throws at me. This was a bit of a revelation, a wake up call, a real “aha” moment.

Being in bed since Sunday has given me a lot of time to think about stuff, and I’ve come up with four things to work on.

1. Take Better Care Of Myself
I have been sick more in the last 12-18 months than I have in a long time and this is really worrying me. I’ve started seeing a GP regularly again recently and that’s a start but I know that is not enough, there’s a lot of work I have to do as well.

2. Stop Worrying About Money
It’s really easy to hop onto the money chasing merry-go-round but it’s really hard to get off it. Although finding work that pays the bills is important when you’re self employed, obsessing over it to the point of not functioning is not the way to go about it.

3. Stop Trying To Constantly Please Others
“You can’t be all things to all people” and “What others say about you is none of your business” are two quotes that sum up my core motivators for doing anything at the moment. I’ve got to learn that no matter what I do there’s going to be someone who doesn’t like it and that by being “the nice guy” at the cost of my own self is the wrong path to take.

4. Immerse Myself In Music Again
I certainly don’t write enough music, play enough music, record enough music and listen to enough music for my liking and this has got to change. I have been far too busy neglecting myself by chasing my own tail trying to make a buck while at the same time trying to please everybody by being the nice guy who does everything for others but nothing for himself.

I see a pattern forming here…

At the moment, I don’t have any answers but I do have a clearer path to take and I choose to walk that path today and use this blog as a means to track my progress from time to time. I am noticing though that as I’m writing this the little voice inside my head is screaming at me:

“What does this post have to do with your music business?”

Well, if I find ways to address these four things and hold myself accountable through this blog then my music business will thrive, I’ll feel better about myself, I’ll get more things done, I’ll get more sleep and generally, I’ll become a better artist, songwriter, musician and human being.

After all, isn’t that what life is all about?

Peace,

Corey

The Truth Really Does Set You Free

Posted on September 1, 2010 by Corey Stewart

When I started my blog I made sure I clearly stated my reasons for doing it.

So much so that in an earlier post I mentioned that through this blog I wanted to “… build a community of people around me and my music and I’ll be doing that by being me, being open and honest and documenting everything that I’m doing on my musical journey.”

Well I haven’t been totally open and honest with you and therefore, at this very moment I feel like I’ve let you all down.

A case in point and something that I have been called on recently by a couple of people who really know me has been my (so called) review about the Synchronicity Police vs Pure Blondie show.

This post is an example of what I’ve written and what I’ve actually felt being on other ends of a spectrum. I thought I was being “diplomatic” when I wrote the post but in fact, I was being just plain dishonest with you and to myself.

The honest truth is that I hated the night, I felt unprepared for the gig due to the stop/start nature of our own rehearsal schedule and the “doing a duet with the other band” idea that was prosed by the lead singer of Pure Blondie was something that I only tolerated because I didn’t have the guts to say NO.

There, I said it… It does feel good to set the record straight but it has taken me a few days to get up enough courage to write this post.

Why?

Because I’m scared of what people think, I’m scared that people won’t like me, or not take me seriously, or think that I’m a bad person because of this post.

What I have learnt about myself over the last few days is that I have a bad habit of sugarcoating my life, for the purposes of appearing like I am in control. It seemed that every time I wrote something or opened my mouth to speak, the temptation to produce propaganda rather than to tell my truth would cover me like a dark heavy shroud.

It’s amazing how much pressure I’ve put myself under trying to be all things to all people but I’ve realised that I can’t be everything to everybody.

I’m a person who has succumbed to the illusion that life is to be controlled and organised rather than to be spontaneously lived. I’ve also realised that being truly me means that I have to embrace my imperfections and flaws as well as my good points and that where I am right now is the sum total of all my experiences and choices to date.

So, I want to restate to you my purpose for doing this blog, for maintaining my website.

“I want to build a community of people around me and my music. I’ll be doing that by being me, being open and honest and documenting everything that I’m doing on my journey through the many facets of my life.”

I have a long way to go but after being bound up by indecision for so long the truth really does set you free.

Peace,

Corey

Life – We’re Making It Up As We Go Along

Posted on July 23, 2010 by Corey Stewart

As I get on with my day to day business that is my life I’m realising more and more that (for most of the time) we are all making up our lives as we go along which comes as a great relief to me, a recovering control freak.

Yes, that’s right, a recovering control freak.

Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I love to be in control, even though that I knew intellectually that the notion of control is but an illusion.

The feeling of being in control made me feel safe and secure with my world.

The upside of this feeling is that I consider myself a very organised person and as someone who prides themselves on being punctual however, the downside to always wanting to be in control is that I would always get highly stressed when situations didn’t go according “to plan.”

I’d get so stressed it would paralyse me at times. I loathed this feeling of being “out of control” but I don’t really know how I could rectify this, a pattern that has been endemic of my life for as long as I remember.

I suppose the realisation that we’re all making it (our lives) up as we go along comes as a great relief because it eliminates the need for me to compare my life with the life of others around me.

Yes, I know that some people have it together more than others and I also know that we are all unique in our abilities, our history, the way we look and so on but deep down we all want the same things like:

Love
Respect
Validation
Acknowledgement
Recognition
Happiness

When I look at life in this way I realise that deep down we’re all in the same boat.

Right now I’m working on creating some sort of balance between my need to have everything in my life catalogued and in its place and being totally spontaneous. Quite a difficult job when you think about it but not an impossible one.

I reckon there’s a song in this…

Peace,

Corey