Life – We’re Making It Up As We Go Along
July 23, 2010
As I get on with my day to day business that is my life I’m realising more and more that (for most of the time) we are all making up our lives as we go along which comes as a great relief to me, a recovering control freak.
Yes, that’s right, a recovering control freak.
Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I love to be in control, even though that I knew intellectually that the notion of control is but an illusion.
The feeling of being in control made me feel safe and secure with my world.
The upside of this feeling is that I consider myself a very organised person and as someone who prides themselves on being punctual however, the downside to always wanting to be in control is that I would always get highly stressed when situations didn’t go according “to plan.”
I’d get so stressed it would paralyse me at times. I loathed this feeling of being “out of control” but I don’t really know how I could rectify this, a pattern that has been endemic of my life for as long as I remember.
I suppose the realisation that we’re all making it (our lives) up as we go along comes as a great relief because it eliminates the need for me to compare my life with the life of others around me.
Yes, I know that some people have it together more than others and I also know that we are all unique in our abilities, our history, the way we look and so on but deep down we all want the same things like:
When I look at life in this way I realise that deep down we’re all in the same boat.
Right now I’m working on creating some sort of balance between my need to have everything in my life catalogued and in its place and being totally spontaneous. Quite a difficult job when you think about it but not an impossible one.
I reckon there’s a song in this…
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